An Open Letter to Karl, Sarah, Constanza, Kyle, Chad and Blashley (Ashley)

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."  CS Lewis

There is no better quote that sums up not only change, but progression in life.  This latter half of the year has brought many changes that has had/ will have an impact on my life and an even bigger impact on the lives of friends.  I do struggle with change sometimes but it is a necessity if we ever wish to grow.  I think it is because of this that the bitter pill to swallow is bearable.  I think the duality of change is oxymoronic.  Some instances leave you in sadness while others leave you in joy.  Three such events happened this year.  I know that they are all for the better, but there is an air of uncertainty.

The first was the departure of my longtime General Manager Karl.  Karl and I have been together almost since the start of my tenure at the Capital City Club.  Karl came 2 months after I started.  As much as him and I disagreed on some elements of food service and club operations he truly was a mentor that aided me in my career development.  I learned alot from him, many things that I will emulate as I continue in my career.  What you may ask?  I do believe that I am less reactionary to events and can actually think many scenarios through before making a decision.  I have become a better public speaker and have more confidence in my self.  He also trusted me to run a club and multiple departments.  I have never had a manager put more faith in me then he did.  Karl had a better opportunity and took it after 20+ years with the company.  I wish him the best of luck though I can tell he is not here anymore.

The next was joyous.  My best friend Sarah and her soul mate Constanza got married.  What a couple!  When the world was giving them hundreds of reasons why they would/should not be together, they persevered through it all and got married.  For as long as I have known Sarah, this is the kind of relationship that had eluded her for so long and she finally found it.  This is the epitome of good things come to those who wait.

Finally two of my closest friends have had opportunities that will enable them to follow their career dreams, but have left me with both joy and sadness.  First my buddy Kyle has had the opportunity to see his business take off.  Unfortunately that means I will be losing the best a la Carte captain I have ever had, but Kyle has worked so hard to establish Triangle Precision Painting (if you need painting in the Raleigh area look them up!) and the opportunity was there to take it to the next level.  His business partner and one of my oldest friends in Raleigh, Chad, finally graduated from college and has found an awesome job.  The catch is that he has to move to Auburn, Alabama.  He and his awesome girlfriend Ashley, whom I also consider a great friend, are packing up and moving, unfortunately a week earlier than expected.  Chad and I sat and talked the other day.  He asked me for some advice.  I said to him, nothing is going to change for you.  What I meant that to mean was, he is not go to change who he is.  He is still going to be the person who works hard, who knows what he wants in life, who is going to go out and make friends and knows how to have a good time.  His life may have changed, his location may have changed, but he is the same Chad who makes the most of every opportunity.  Ashley is the same way, head strong with the compass set toward the future.  These two will complement each other well in their new life together.

Change can suck if you do not embrace it.  Every change comes with opportunity.  It is like Eleanor Roosevelt said,  :"You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give."  Love me, hate me, everyone is entitled to my opinion.

STFU ACLU!

This is going to be more of a rant than anything else.  I am so tired of the American Civil Liberties Union.  Do not get me wrong, I believe that our civil liberties need to be protected.  I believe organizations such as the ACLU do just that.  Perhaps its not the ACLU I am mad at in general, but with organizations like them as a whole whose face I see as the ACLU.  I don't know, but this time of year really gets me going!

This is the holiday season for many faiths and cultures.  For Christians its Christmas, for Jews its Chanukkah, for African-Americans its Kwanzaa, pagans get winter solstice, Festivus or Yule.  The list goes on and on.  Why is it wrong to decorate for these holidays?  I understand that Christmas and Channukah are more popular in public decorations, but lets face it, they are celebrated by the majority of people in the United States.  Some see them as religious holidays, others see them as family holidays.  There is no difference putting up a Nativity scene, to setting out a menorah, or setting up a Christmas tree.  They are symbols of the holiday.  Why can't a government put them on their property?  Some of you will say that there is supposed to be a seperation of church and state.  I am familiar with the First Amendment.  Freedom of religion is designed so that any one can practice any religion they want.  It prevents the government from saying "You must be a member of whatever religion I deem appropriate."  It was a response to Great Britain requiring all of its citizens to be members of the Church of England during colonial times.  Last I checked there was no such law requiring any such membership in the United States.  I argue that not allowing such displays violates the freedom of speech provision of the First Amendment!

It has gotten to the point in this country that it is politically incorrect to say Merry Christmas during the holidays or God bless you after someone sneezes.  If someone wants to get offended that I said this so be it.  I believe however that the majority of the population understands that it is not an attempt at discrimination or for me to force my beliefs on anybody, rather it is an attempt to communicate good will.  If I should have wished you a Happy Chanukkah instead, please tell me and I will rephrase.  If you don't want me to say anything than tell me and I won't.  I work with a guy who does not believe in saying God bless you after he sneezes, he informed me, now I don't say it to him.  he was greatful that I used my manners, and I was greatful he used his.  It was about courtesy and that was all.  I am going to continue to put out my Nativity scene, I will say merry Christmas rather than Happy Holidays and I will support any government institution that wants to put out a menorah instead of a Christmas tree because it is the intent of the action that means to promote good will.

Love me, hate me, everyone is entitled to my opinion!

Contempt of Court

Recent events have me wondering who our justice system really serves.  I know that there are Constitutional rights bestowed to protect the accused, and based on history that is a good thing.  Unfortunately the Constitution does nothing to protect the victims.  I also understand that laws and court decisions are based on precedent, interpretation, and tradition.  There is definitely a human element associated with it.  Often times I wonder if our justice system is a joke.

Recently a teenager in Texas was found guilty due to "affluenza."  WTF?  Is that a real thing?  Affluenza was a term coined by British psychologist Oliver James as a mental condition and anti consumer theory in which the desire to have more leads to emotional distress and/or having so much that you are wasteful with what you have.  The judge ordered that this teenager serve 10 years of probation after killing 4 people while driving drunk.  Here is my problem with this.  1) He killed four people.  2) He was drinking and driving.  3) He was drinking underage.  All three of these are illegal.  Where is the affluenza?  What we truly have is a case of Ididn'tgetmyassbeatenoughasakiditis.  The real problem here is that the child lacked discipline and as a result caused this.  The parents lack of involvement in this kids life caused this behavior, but I believe that everyone is responsible for their own actions.  Once again this teenager is not being held accountable.

I buy a cup of hot coffee.  I spill said coffee in my lap.  How is that not my fault?  How would I have been unaware that the coffee would have been hot?  But Stella Liebeck did just that.  She then sued McDonald's and was awarded $2.6 million by a jury.  A judge lowered the award to just over $600,000.  But damn, where is personal accountability?

There are stories all over the news about burglars who break into someones home.  The homeowner than shoots the intruder.  The intruder than turns around and sues the owner.  If the homeowner would have shot and killed the intruder than it would have been considered justifiable homicide.  The courts are forcing people to shoot to kill.

I don't blame the lawyers, they are doing there job.  It is their responsibility to defend their clients or advocate for their clients.  I blame the jury's who respond with emotion instead of fact.  I blame the judges for allowing such nonsense.  Ultimately it is the legislature's fault for not passing laws to protect the victim's.  In the late 90's John Walsh of America's Most Wanted Fame, advocated a Constitutional Amendment that would protect victim's.  This Amendment has had the backing of every Attorney General and President since Janet Reno and Bill Clinton.  The text of the amendment from the National Victim's Constitutional Amendment Passage website is as follows:

Section 1. The rights of a crime victim to fairness, respect, and dignity, being capable of protection without denying the constitutional rights of the accused, shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any State. The crime victim shall, moreover, have the rights to reasonable notice of, and shall not be excluded from, public proceedings relating to the offense, to be heard at any release, plea, sentencing, or other such proceeding involving any right established by this article, to proceedings free from unreasonable delay, to reasonable notice of the release or escape of the accused, to due consideration of the crime victim's safety, and to restitution. The crime victim or the crime victim's lawful representative has standing to fully assert and enforce these rights in any court. Nothing in this article provides grounds for a new trial or any claim for damages and no person accused of the conduct described in section 2 of this article may obtain any form of relief.

Section 2. For purposes of this article, a crime victim includes any person against whom the criminal offense is committed or who is directly harmed by the commission of an act, which, if committed by a competent adult, would constitute a crime.

Section 3. This article shall be inoperative unless it has been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several States within 14 years after the date of its submission to the States by the Congress. This article shall take effect on the 180th day after the date of its ratification.
Congress also need to address frivolous lawsuits where people are suing for obscene amounts of money where there is a personal accountability factor.  Perhaps we need to incorporate the French system in which a plaintiff in a case is responsible for all court costs of the defendant if the verdict is for the defendant.

Love me, hate me, everyone is entitled to my opinion.

Giving up the mortal coil

At the beginning of the year I decided to try to be more healthy.  I quit smoking, hit the gym losing 40 pounds, and have quit drinking.  There was no real reason as to why, just happened.  It became something to do and an attempt to achieve goals that rested solely on will power.  These were things that no one really could help me with and success or failure rested entirely on me.  I did very well.  To date, I have gone 245 days without a cigarette.  I am still 20 pounds under what I started the year with, and I have not gone binge drinking since my birthday.  All would be good, or so one would think.

In the beginning of October while I was at the gym I started having chest pains.  I took a small break and went right back to working out.  The chest pains did not come back that night but decided to go and see my doctor.  My doctor referred me to a cardiologist.  The pain would continue to come and go.  It was mostly a sharp stabbing pain that would last a few seconds and go away.  After I got back from vacation the cardiologist finally called with an appointment.  After many tests the doctor concluded that I had pericarditis, an inflammation of the heart lining.  The medicine that he prescribed was $300 after insurance for a 30 day supply.  So I got it anyway, I mean its my heart and all.  Three days into taking it, my legs go numb.  It hurts to walk.  So $300 goes down the drain.  Doc says stop taking it.  He next wants me to take 2 Bayer aspirin twice a day.  Risk of bleeding and bruising.  So I take it.  Get light headed.  Now I am on blood pressure meds and Advil.  No adverse side effects but symptoms still there.

Last night while laying in bed, the chest was hurting and the left arm seemed to be numb, but it could also have been in my head.  Went to sleep thinking that I may not wake up.  Moments like that kind of make you think.  I started thinking about all of the things I have missed because I put the job first.  My family, friends, trips I wanted to go on, all played second string to the job.  Funny thing is at my last cardiologist appointment my doctor wrote on a prescription pad, "Get a new job."  Perhaps its time.  The job hunt will start come January.  I do not know what I may do, I know it needs to allow time for life.  I am learning that if you keep saying someday, one day there will be no days.  I need to avoid that, make today some day.

If perhaps finality is upon me, know this:  My only regret will be that I let the job kill me.

Love me, hate me, everyone is entitled to my opinion.

Bring me your tired, your poor

I apologize that it has been two weeks sionce my last post.  Between Thanksgiving and the ever popular holiday time in the food service business I have been a bit lax on keeping up.  I wanted to dwell in to the realm of immigration reform.  We have heard so much about it in the news.  There are many arguements on what the best course should be.  Like everyone else, I too have an opinion.  There are an estimated 11.5 million illegal immigrants in the United States.  They are here, what should we do about it?

Before I begin with my opinion, I want one thing understood.  When we hear illegal immigrant we stereotypically think Mexican.  The latest estimate I have seen says about half come from Mexico.  The other nearly 6 million come from elsewhere.  The reason why the number of Mexicans living here illegally is so high is only because of a shared border.  If I were to guess, and I am sure I am correct, most come here for the work.  For those of you who say they are taking jobs away from Americans, I call BS.  Alot of them are serving in jobs that most Americans look down on, dishwashing, lawn care, construction, food prep, farms and slaughterhouses.  There are an abundance of these jobs that need filling, but even when the economy collapsed and people were out of work, they were not seeking employment here.  The next thing I would like to point out is that there are many who are not here by choice.  At any given time there are about fifteen thousand people in the US against there will, victims of human trafficking and the modern day sex trade.

There is no doubt that we are a country founded by immigrants and built on the backs of immigrants.  That is one thing that makes the United States special and unique.  We are a melting pot of cultures.  If you want an example, simply go to NYC.  There is Little Italy, Chinatown, Spanish Harlem, Russians in Brighton Beach, and Koreans in Fresh Meadow just to name a few.  Even our Native American ancestors came from somewhere else.  Every nation deserves the right to set laws pertaining to who may come into their country and the process for doing so.  Are we trying to protect our borders or are we trying to isolate ourselves?

One solution floated by George W. Bush was blanket amnesty.  In this program a clear path to citizenship was outlined.  It included returning to country of orgin to apply for citizenship and sped up the process if you were already here.  The idea is a good one.  My question would be why send them back first.  Have them apply here.  They are already here.  Once they are citizens then there are tax benefits as well since they will be paying tax.  Another option he floated was a guest worker program.  These would allow people, primarily migrant workers on farms, to come to the US to work on a temporary basis.  A worker could start in Washington in the fall to pick apples, southern California in the Spring for oranges and grapes in Napa in the fall.

Another solution would be to send out immigration officials to round up and deport illegals back to their country of orgin.  This would only work however if the military were deployed to defend our borders.  In this scenario illegals would be treated as invaders.  I do not think a war should be declared on hardworking civilians, but this would have to be the approach taken to make this option work.

I think we can do one better than both these options.  We could adopt a free movement policy much like in the European Union among the NAFTA countries of the United States, Canada and Mexico.  In this scenario citizens of either of these three nations may look for a job in another NAFTA country, work there without needing a work permit, reside there for that purpose, stay there even after employment has finished and enjoy equal treatment with nationals in access to employment, working conditions and all other social and tax advantages.  These would allow workers in all three nations cross the border to work, not lose their citizenship, and creates equality under the law.

Three options, three ways to combat this issue.Option three is in keeping in the spirit of Ezra Lazarus and the "New Collossus":
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand that
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Love me, hate me, everyone is entitled to my opnion!