A few years ago I worked at a summer camp in the middle of the Delaware River called Treasure Island Scout Reservation. At the time it was the oldest continuously operated Boy Scout camp in the United States. It is full of history as it was the birth place of the Order of the Arrow, a national honor society within the Boy Scouts of America that is based on the principles of cheerful service to others. More than that, it was home to thousands of young people for a week at a time. I was fortunate to have served on that staff for seven years. During that time I not only helped many scouts on their quest for Eagle, but I developed friendships that were to last a lifetime. One person in particular had impacted me beyond anything I could have fathomed. Steve Ranjo took an instant liking to me when I arrived for my first summer as a counselor in training. By the end of the week, doubtless due to his doing, I was hired on as a full time counselor in the commissary. I learned so much from Steve that summer from the history of the Order of the Arrow and Unami Lodge, to scouting, to just growing up. Steve tutored me through a lot of things. Steve gave his all to Scouting, the Order of the Arrow and his friends. For years it was the same thing every summer, keeping in touch through the winter, just learning and developing. All of that changed the last week of camp in 1997. A couple of immature and young staff members decided to mess with my stuff while I was away one weekend. When I came back and found out I was furious. I ransacked their shack. Steve was furious. Steve would have fired me if it wasn't the last week of camp. This is a falling out that had plagued me for years. Steve and I would exchange emails once in a while, but our relationship was not the same. Steve was killed in a car accident with his father in 2012. I had sent him and email in 2009 apologizing for everything, but it was left unanswered. Steve died without me knowing if he had forgiven me, 12 years had passed before I had even asked for that forgiveness. Thousands of hours wasted on pride, laziness, whatever excuse one wishes to put there, in the end it doesn't matter the reason, what matters is that it happened and can not be undone.
That same camp also fostered another friendship with a gentleman named Scott Rubin. Like Steve, Scott gave his all to Scouting, staff members and the Order of the Arrow. Scott did not like me much when we first met. i was cocky, head strong and thought I could take on the whole Empire. Scott never shot down my delusions, but I knew how he felt. One summer he switched from our sister camp, Hart Scout Reservation and started working at Treasure Island. We found a new respect for each other and quickly became friends. We had common goals, shared the same group of friends, had a similar sense of humor, and finally hit it off when we actually got to know each other. I learned a lot from Scott as well. I continued to mature even with my relationship to the most Peter Panesque person I knew. Scott was going to be eternally young. Scott and I stayed in touch through email and Facebook. Mostly small talk, but still kept in touch. When Steve died, Scott assured me Steve had forgiven me and was proud of me. Scott died a month ago. I never even knew he was sick. He never mentioned it. I never thanked him for the impact he had on my life. I know he knows now. I know he can still hear me, but I never told him.
My friend Dave called me a couple of weeks ago to tell me that he had Stage III Lymphoma. I do not know if Dave knew he had Lymphoma prior to that or if he just found out. I am honored that Dave did tell me about it. Dave is a private person who does not want to burden people with his personal problems even though Dave would be the first one to take the shirt off his back for you. Dave and I talked through Facebook and text, probably not as often as we should have, but we stayed in touch. We had similar childhood experiences, as well as shared some other commonalities that seen to be all to common these days. I would like to go and see Dave to show my support. Dave wants nothing to do with anyone for he fears that he will say something that he can't take back and if he were to die from this, he doesn't want that to be the last memory his friends have of him. Well Dave, I will respect your wishes, but know this, I do not agree with them and will take the first opportunity I can to come and see you. I believe that you can beat this, you are stronger than you think, but your friends and family can push you to go a little further when you don't think you can. We know this is a battle that you have to fight on your own, but we can provide logistical support. Don't hide away, because I will be damned if I were to let someone else I care about become a guardian angel without telling them how I feel.
Unfortunately we all have situations like the three examples. When are we going to learn that there will be a time when there is no tomorrow. When are we going to just say it now. I start today. There are too many people to address in here so I am breaking them up into groups. These will be generalizations that apply to all but I will reach out individually to those that I can.
First and foremost, the Walls, Danyluk and Hartmanns, you are my family, even though we don't always admit it. Through good and bad we have stood together. I love you all.
To my friends from Valley Stream, especially Blessed Sacrament and from the Fenwood area lots of good memories, especially Blessed Sacrament, football, baseball, hockey, and bike trips all over Long Island.
Another Valley Stream group with its own category, Troop 369. You guys are wonderful, we grew up together and suffered loss together, but we did it all, together.
Kellenberg Memorial Classmates, 4 years was hardly enough and too long at the same time. We may have only knew of each other, we may have been good friends, but we shared in something that was knew and helped pave the way for those that came after us.
Treasure Island, Philadelphia Council, Cradle of Liberty Council and Unami Lodge 1. I am the person I am today for what was given to me and what I have been able to give back. We were part of history, and share in the sadness of what has been lost to us.
La Salle University, Sigma Phi Epsilon (Pennsylvania Omega) and Project Appalachia our time together was short. I was in stage of my life where I needed something to believe in and to be believed in. You all gave me that.
Capital City Club and Cardinal Club, I have made a lot of great friends and have developed into a professional. All of you helped me to get where I am today. Many of you took a chance on an outsider and gave me the extra push.
Shaw University. We learned from each other, those who welcomed me are still with me and I thank you for that. Our differences gave us common ground.
Fayetteville St. Tavern (formerly the Capital Room) friends through late night drunkfests. So much was shared and happened over a five year run from the Stanly Cup playoffs, softball on the Capital, two friends meeting and now getting married. Some of the best nights of my life.
Big Easy wow, from a regular to a co-worker. Many drunken nights, but many close friendships. We have seen some crazy stuff up there, but it has truly been a pleasure and thank you for accepting me.
To my inner circle of friends that include some from each category, my best friends and their significant others, those near and far. You have all picked me up when I had fallen, you have all shared some great and bad times, you have shared in my glory, you shall be given roles in my empire. With you I can march through the depths of hell because I know that you will be there every step of the way. Because of that I am confident that you all know who you are.
Everyone of you fall into these categories. I have been shaped because of you and look forward to reconnecting and growing with you.
Love me, hate me, everyone is entitled to my opinion!
Well said, friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you friend!
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