From the Cradle to the Grave

Anthropologically speaking the Middle East from the Nile to the Euphrates has long been associated as the birth place of civilization.  The great ancient societies flourished in this area giving us many innovations still in use today,  The Egyptians, Phonecians, Babylonians, Assyrians, and Persians all called this area home.  These great societies spread into Africa, Asia and Europe.  It was this same drive for exploration and invention that caused the settlements of the new world.  Humanity has matured and grown since these humble beginnings.  This same area could bring about the end of civilization.

The headlines are flooded with stories emerging from this area.  Civil wars in Egypt and Syria.  Terrorist Activity in Yemen.  The invasion of Iraq.  Israeli settlements on the West Bank.  Iran building nuclear reactors.  The list goes on.  Other issues that do not get as much press as it should include human rights violations, particularly against women, the treatment of religious minorities, and the lack of the lack of social programs.  Unfortunately to some these are Western views and may appear to make me look ignorant for not understanding the way of life that has been in existence for hundreds of years.

As we watch this are erupt we have also seen major international players take sides in these polarizing issues.  The Russians have backed the Syrian and Iranaian government since the days of the Soviet Union.  The US has backed the military of Egypt and the government in Saudi Arabia.  This area is very influential for its oil reserves and for transit through the Suez Canal.  If this area delves into chaos the backing of the superpowers may lead to an all out regional conflict.

On another hand should we get involved.  These are internal matters, it doesn't affect us.  Why does the US have to be the police man of the world.  In the case of Syria we are watching a regime use a weapon that not even Adolf Hitler would use in combat.  The international community, which banned these weapons, has an obligation to prevent their use, especially when these weapons are used on civilians.  In the absence of an international consensus a signatory of the treaty should act.  I don't believe in starting a war.  I do believe that the UN charter states certain rights that all people worldwide have.  The right to life is one of them.

It is these issues that could bring the end of civilaztion that had its birth in this volatile crossroads of the world.

Love me, hate me, everyone is entitled to my opinion.

A Father's Wish

This posting is later than I intended, but while I was contemplating my next topic, I watched something bloom and start to unfold.  My daughter and her two best friends all got back from spending the summer at their grandparents houses this past week.  My daughter was anxious to see each of them and of course she wanted to have back to back sleepovers, one night for each of them.  I thought it would be OK, even though I knew it would be loud for two nights straight but oh well.  It was decided that Lexi would come over first followed by Jayde.  Reagan has known Jayde longer but since we have moved to a knew town she has gone to school with Lexi.  I really didn't think anything of the significance I was soon to see when she wanted Lexi to spend the night first until recently.

My daughter is a beautiful girl and everyone tells me I should get the shotgun now.  She has many interests, especially art and reading.  She never really got into sports or dance.  She likes to read and write.  She does about average in school, though if she could stay motivated, she could be an exceptional student.  One of her great strengths is that she can not understand why people are mean to others.  This really upsets her.

Lexi is a lanky, awkward girl.  She is very intelligent and very tom-boyish.  She likes to tell a tall tale here and there that can actually be believed.  Lexi likes softball, is very outgoing, and has a healthy imagination.  I consider myself to have above average intelligence and I have had to look up some of things she has said.  When the new school year starts Lexi will be taking many advanced classes.  Lexi is also a huge Star Wars fan!  Her and Reagan do not have much in common.

Jayde is like Reagan in many ways.  The boys will also be trouble as Jayde grows older.  Jayde is short in stature and is about average in school.  Reagan and Jayde have been friends since the 1st grade.  Jayde is quiet though around adults.  Jayde tends to be a bully and can be persuasive. Often she tries to get my daughter to do things that my daughter knows that she shouldn't.  Half the time she is successful.

On the first night Lexi came over.  My daughter and her got along great.  They kept themselves entertained, were very good, and for the most part quiet.  They asked permission to do things, and went to bed when told without any problems.  I overheard them talking while they were laying down.  Lexi said to Reagan, "I am so lucky that you are my friend.  You are popular, and I am a geek.  You could be friends with anyone and you are friends with me."  I was saddened at first for Lexi, but proud that she thankful for my daughter's friendship.

The next night Jayde came over.  Things were like they always were when the two of them got together, yelling, screaming, running around and fighting.  It was "Jayde did this,"  "Jayde wants to know if we could...".  They finally calmed down and went to sleep.  I knew that Jayde would probably be among the popular girls at her school.

I was left wondering something.  How is it that my daughter is the way she is depending on who she is with?  Obviously Lexi is the better influence.  Is every parents wish that their child is the popular one in school.  Then I started to think even more.  Over the last year at school, my daughter was often treated as an outcast because of her friendship with Lexi.  My daughter was sad some days, but for the most part didn't seem to care.  Will she be picked on as she gets older?  Will she start to treat Lexi differently?  I was neither popular nor unpopular while I was in school.  I felt I held a line where I was friends with whoever wanted to be my friend.

I finally decided, I do not want my daughter to be popular at the cost of her current values.  It saddens her to see people make fun of others.  She will sit down next to the person no one else will sit next to.  She makes sure that very kid in her class gets a Valentine.  More importantly she could be friends with anyone, and she chose the girl that describes herself as a geek.  That is the person I want my daughter to be.

I was going to talk to her and tell her that it is more important to have a good friend that you can rely on and trust then to be the popular kid in school.  I wanted her to know that she is the one who decides who she should be friends with, no one else.  I wanted to tell her that she deserves to surround herself with friends like Lexi.  Just as I was about to tell her, I caught myself.  Obviously she knew this.  She had come to the conclusion all by herself.  Do I really need to?  I decided I would just nurture for now.  I told her that I knew her and Lexi didn't have any classes together and that if she ever just wanted to call up Lexi to go have ice cream, I would take them both.

My wish is that I have raised her right.  That she has the values that she has because she learned it from her parents.  My wish is that she sees the value of her friendship and that she will make the right decision.  I know that I can't make these choices for her, but I hope that I have already influenced them.

Love me, hate me everyone is entitled to my opinion.

Where have all the heroes gone?

Jackie Robinson took the diamond at Ebbets Field in 1947 to break the color barrier.  What makes him great is not alone the fact that he was the first African-American to play for a Major League Team, but that he kept playing, playing at a high level, didn't give in to the hatred he experienced, but beat it back by playing hard and winning.  Dwight Eisenhower stood on the airfield meeting and saying goodbye to the hundreds of paratroopers that were about to take part in the greatest amphibious and air assault to ever take place en route to the destruction of Nazi Germany.  What made Eisenhower great was not that he planned and successfully executed the invasion, but that he learned from his failures in planning in North Africa.  Susan B. Anthony spent a lifetime fighting for the right to vote, unfortunately dying before the passage of 19th Amendment.  What makes her great is not just fighting for equality, but never wavering in her beliefs even when faced with jail time.

I look at people of this caliber and have to wonder where are these people now.  When I look at the news I see reports of athletes taking performance enhancing drugs, celebrities in rehab, politicians exposing themselves.  Far gone are people like Martin Luther King Jr., Sally Ride, Abraham Lincoln.  Instead our children get to look at Lindsay Lohan, Alex Rodriguez, Anthony Weiner.  This is not a new phenomenon, but one that seems to have a pattern.  Looking back to my childhood I had some of the same situations with heroes like Roger Clemens, Dwight Gooden, Milli Vanilli, and Gary Hart.  What is the difference?  Why did i have other people to look up to, to find hope, to model my life, thoughts and beliefs after?

The biggest reason is education.  I am not saying that young people today are uneducated.  What I am saying is that we were taught different things.  The focus on education encompassed all subjects equally, science, geography, math, and history were taught everyday.  We learned about the exploits of some great and not so great people in history.  Today the focus is on math, science and reading.  These 3 are fundamental to education, but they are not the only thing.  Education needs diversity.

Secondly, the news.  It is on everyday, all day.  We are bombarded with it.  Breaking news should not be the latest Real Housewives of Orange County wardrobe malfunction, yet that is what we see.  How different would things be if Samantha Smith was televised on 24 hour news networks back in 1982.  Children today are immune to the good works people do because they are inundated with the bad.  There are no heroes because we as a society have killed them.

Love me, hate me, everyone in entitled to my opinion.

Things Left Unsaid

Since I started this blog I have made comments on what is been in the news politically.  I am going to deviate from that this week, not because there is nothing to comment on, but because I want to share some stories that may help anyone who actually reads and follows my posts, which currently looks like zero, but who knows.

A few years ago I worked at a summer camp in the middle of the Delaware River called Treasure Island Scout Reservation.  At the time it was the oldest continuously operated Boy Scout camp in the United States.  It is full of history as it was the birth place of the Order of the Arrow, a national honor society within the Boy Scouts of America that is based on the principles of cheerful service to others.  More than that, it was home to thousands of young people for a week at a time.  I was fortunate to have served on that staff for seven years.  During that time I not only helped many scouts on their quest for Eagle, but I developed friendships that were to last a lifetime.  One person in particular had impacted me beyond anything I could have fathomed.  Steve Ranjo took an instant liking to me when I arrived for my first summer as a counselor in training.  By the end of the week, doubtless due to his doing, I was hired on as a full time counselor in the commissary.  I learned so much from Steve that summer from the history of the Order of the Arrow and Unami Lodge, to scouting, to just growing up.  Steve tutored me through a lot of things.  Steve gave his all to Scouting, the Order of the Arrow and his friends.  For years it was the same thing every summer, keeping in touch through the winter, just learning and developing.  All of that changed the last week of camp in 1997.  A couple of immature and young staff members decided to mess with my stuff while I was away one weekend.  When I came back and found out I was furious.  I ransacked their shack.  Steve was furious.  Steve would have fired me if it wasn't the last week of camp.  This is a falling out that had plagued me for years.  Steve and I would exchange emails once in a while, but our relationship was not the same.  Steve was killed in a car accident with his father in 2012.  I had sent him and email in 2009 apologizing for everything, but it was left unanswered.  Steve died without me knowing if he had forgiven me, 12 years had passed before I had even asked for that forgiveness.  Thousands of hours wasted on pride, laziness, whatever excuse one wishes to put there, in the end it doesn't matter the reason, what matters is that it happened and can not be undone.

That same camp also fostered another friendship with a gentleman named Scott Rubin.  Like Steve, Scott gave his all to Scouting, staff members and the Order of the Arrow.  Scott did not like me much when we first met.  i was cocky, head strong and thought I could take on the whole Empire.  Scott never shot down my delusions, but I knew how he felt.  One summer he switched from our sister camp, Hart Scout Reservation and started working at Treasure Island.  We found a new respect for each other and quickly became friends.  We had common goals, shared the same group of friends, had a similar sense of humor, and finally hit it off when we actually got to know each other.  I learned a lot from Scott as well.  I continued to mature even with my relationship to the most Peter Panesque person I knew.  Scott was going to be eternally young.  Scott and I stayed in touch through email and Facebook.  Mostly small talk, but still kept in touch. When Steve died, Scott assured me Steve had forgiven me and was proud of me.  Scott died a month ago.   I never even knew he was sick.  He never mentioned it.  I never thanked him for the impact he had on my life.  I know he knows now.  I know he can still hear me, but I never told him.

My friend Dave called me a couple of weeks ago to tell me that he had Stage III Lymphoma.  I do not know if Dave knew he had Lymphoma prior to that or if he just found out.  I am honored that Dave did tell me about it.  Dave is a private person who does not want to burden people with his personal problems even though Dave would be the first one to take the shirt off his back for you.  Dave and I talked through Facebook and text, probably not as often as we should have, but we stayed in touch.  We had similar childhood experiences, as well as shared some other commonalities that seen to be all to common these days.  I would like to go and see Dave to show my support.  Dave wants nothing to do with anyone for he fears that he will say something that he can't take back and if he were to die from this, he doesn't want that to be the last memory his friends have of him.  Well Dave, I will respect your wishes, but know this, I do not agree with them and will take the first opportunity I can to come and see you.  I believe that you can beat this, you are stronger than you think, but your friends and family can push you to go a little further when you don't think you can.  We know this is a battle that you have to fight on your own, but we can provide logistical support.  Don't hide away, because I will be damned if I were to let someone else I care about become a guardian angel without telling them how I feel.

Unfortunately we all have situations like the three examples.  When are we going to learn that there will be a time when there is no tomorrow.  When are we going to just say it now.  I start today.  There are too many people to address in here so I am breaking them up into groups.  These will be generalizations that apply to all but I will reach out individually to those that I can.

First and foremost, the Walls, Danyluk and Hartmanns, you are my family, even though we don't always admit it.  Through good and bad we have stood together.  I love you all.

To my friends from Valley Stream, especially Blessed Sacrament and from the Fenwood area lots of good memories, especially Blessed Sacrament, football, baseball, hockey, and bike trips all over Long Island.  

Another Valley Stream group with its own category, Troop 369.  You guys are wonderful, we grew up together and suffered loss together, but we did it all, together.

Kellenberg Memorial Classmates, 4 years was hardly enough and too long at the same time.  We may have only knew of each other, we may have been good friends, but we shared in something that was knew and helped pave the way for those that came after us.

Treasure Island, Philadelphia Council, Cradle of Liberty Council and Unami Lodge 1.  I am the person I am today for what was given to me and what I have been able to give back.  We were part of history, and share in the sadness of what has been lost to us.

La Salle University, Sigma Phi Epsilon (Pennsylvania Omega) and Project Appalachia our time together was short.  I was in stage of my life where I needed something to believe in and to be believed in.  You all gave me that.

Capital City Club and Cardinal Club, I have made a lot of great friends and have developed into a professional.  All of you helped me to get where I am today.  Many of you took a chance on an outsider and gave me the extra push.

Shaw University.  We learned from each other, those who welcomed me are still with me and I thank you for that.  Our differences gave us common ground.

Fayetteville St. Tavern (formerly the Capital Room) friends through late night drunkfests.  So much was shared and happened over a five year run from the Stanly Cup playoffs, softball on the Capital, two friends meeting and now getting married.  Some of the best nights of my life.

Big Easy wow, from a regular to a co-worker.  Many drunken nights, but many close friendships.  We have seen some crazy stuff up there, but it has truly been a pleasure and thank you for accepting me.

To my inner circle of friends that include some from each category, my best friends and their significant others, those near and far.  You have all picked me up when I had fallen, you have all shared some great and bad times, you have shared in my glory, you shall be given roles in my empire.  With you I can march through the depths of hell because I know that you will be there every step of the way.  Because of that I am confident that you all know who you are.

Everyone of you fall into these categories.  I have been shaped because of you and look forward to reconnecting and growing with you.

Love me, hate me, everyone is entitled to my opinion!

One vote for me....

"My representative voted for ObamaCare, (s)he needs to go!"  "Mine voted against gun control, (s)he needs to go."  "This one favors abortion, and more military spending, I am done."  "They just voted on a new pay raise, yet I don't have a job."  Any bar, office water cooler, or university library has echoed the sounds of such statements.  Many with more expletives and more passion then what I conveyed.  Many from the right, many from the left, but the chorus is still the same:  We are tired of bills that are passed, or not passed in Washington and in our state capitols.  We are tired of the bickering, we are tired of the lack of compromise, we are tired of CNN, FoxNews, et al for highlighting these problems.  When are we going to do something about it?

I am tired of the argument that my vote does not matter.  I am sure no one has won an election to the legislatures, presidency or governorships by just one vote.  Maybe in that regard your one vote does not matter.  It is a collective effort that has put all of these knuckleheads in office.  We live a a representative democracy where we elect people to represent us and to vote for our values.  This is increasingly not the case.  It doesn't matter if one is a Democrat, a Republican or whatever.  We just don't agree with the people we elect.

We elect them because they are better than the alternative.  We elect them because that is who we are used to voting for.  How many times has a dead guy been elected?  We elect them because no one is running against them.  How about we don't.  In the primary lets vote against the incumbent.  Let's make this election the one in which we enact our own term limits and vote every incumbent out of office by voting for their primary opponent.  That way Democrats can still vote for their party, Republicans theirs.

Even better, lets start our own revolution that will entirely ensure that we vote for the person who best represents our beliefs.  Let us vote for ourselves.  Can we do that?  Why not?  Let us all write in ourselves.  Let us vote for John Walls, or Mary Smith, Thomas Johnson, Lindsay Lohan.  Vote your name.  Get elected.  Pass your ideas.  Be a part of the solution.  How cool would it be to walk down the street with your own campaign button on, interacting with your friends with their own on.  Nothing in the Constitution says we can't.  Lets send a message.

Love me, hate me everybody is entitled to my opinion!